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Regret Is Unnecessary for the Substitute Princess: Chapter 25

Chapter 25


Though his ash-colored hair was unkempt, if he were to tidy himself up just a little, his face would surpass that of many noblemen.

“Why aren’t you answering?”

“Do I really need to tell you?”

“Yes, because I’m curious.”

April’s imperious voice elicited a sigh that Alan suppressed internally. He was only engaging with her because of Bernice’s request, but truth be told, she was someone he would prefer not to get entangled with.

“Lady Bernice saved my life when I was on the brink of death.”

The memory of escaping from the temple, prepared to die, was as vivid as if it had happened yesterday.

His greatest wish had been simply to survive, but even if he had died, he wouldn’t have cared much. The only thing he was certain of was that he never wanted to die within the walls of that temple.

If he had perished in that place… The thought alone was unbearable.

“On the brink of death?”

“Yes.”

There was no need to reveal that he had fled from the temple. He had run for what felt like an eternity after escaping, only to collapse in the mountains, where Irina had found him.

“…Save me… please…”

Given his state, one might have expected her to be startled upon finding a wounded man in the woods, but Irina showed no such signs. The only thing he remembered was her quiet contemplation as she looked at him.

And when he awoke, it was in what had now become a shop.

He still remembered how shocked he had been when he discovered that someone with divine power had healed him.

“Does just thinking about her make you smile?”

“…What?”

Alan paused at April’s question.

“You smiled. What are you talking about?”

April, finding Alan’s expression somewhat amusing, touched her own lips with her finger.

“You were smiling.”

“…”

“Were you thinking of Bernice, by any chance?”

How could he not?

To Alan, Irina was nothing short of salvation itself.

He had told April that the extent of healing was determined by the amount of divine power one possessed, but as someone who had been healed by Irina’s immense power, he knew with certainty that she could fully cure April.

She had already straightened April’s twisted bones and could likely reattach severed tendons as well.

Despite having experienced divine power during his time at the temple, he had never encountered such an overwhelming amount before.

‘Why isn’t she healing her?’

Whether it was an issue between Irina and April, or something between Irina and the Duke of Rise, Alan couldn’t say.

“The more I hear, the more curious I become.”

But despite his curiosity, the reasons didn’t matter. Irina had saved his life, and he was prepared to give it up for her if needed.

“What are you curious about?”

“You said you were on the brink of death, but survived? What happened that almost killed you?”

To that question, Alan could only respond with silence. It wasn’t just a matter of telling or not telling—it was that he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else knowing.

Alan was an orphan from the temple.

In temple terms, that meant he had been a test subject for their experiments.

“What happened that almost killed you?”

April’s question dredged up painful memories.

Only those within the temple truly knew how heinous it was. The majority of the empire’s citizens were unaware of how the temple ruthlessly used orphaned children for their experiments, all under the guise of making medicine.

The security of the temple was tight, and the orphans were never helped to become independent.

They were used in various experiments—drug trials, intentional injuries inflicted for testing. Few died during these experiments, as the priests had just enough divine power to keep them barely alive.

It was a Sisyphean existence, pushing a boulder up a hill only for it to roll back down again.

Alan’s hand faltered as he prepared the painkillers for April.

At least, when they inflicted wounds, they often gave the children plenty of painkillers, so he hadn’t felt much pain. This, however, led to many children becoming addicted to the drugs.

Alan’s hands began to tremble as the nightmare of the temple returned to him.

“…Just this once.”

Even though he knew he shouldn’t, his hand reached for the herbs used in the painkillers.

The memory of the hallucinations, the feeling of floating weightlessly without pain, was still vivid.

His body had healed perfectly thanks to Irina, but the thrill he had once felt from the drugs was something he could never forget.

The sense of drifting in water, the escape from nightmares, the numbing of his mind—all of it called to him.

“Just this once, really… just this once.”

Alan’s breathing grew louder.

He had seen how the drugs were made during his time as a test subject and had heard the priests discuss it in detail.

He was just about to roll the herb into a leaf when—

“Stop.”

A familiar voice, cool and firm, halted his actions. He couldn’t bring himself to look up, and a cold sweat began to trickle down his back.

“Give it to me, Alan.”

The voice wasn’t the usual indifferent tone he was accustomed to, but rather cold and hard as ice.

Alan’s trembling hand slowly turned his body.

His ghostly pale face reflected in Irina’s sunset-colored eyes, now cold and unforgiving.

“Irina…”

It was Irina.

“Do you want to become addicted again?”

If he was this close to doing it now, he must have done it several times while I was away.

This was just the one time I caught him; there was no telling how many times he had done it while I wasn’t around.

“No, you misunderstand.”

“…”

“I just… haven’t been able to sleep lately…”

Tears began to well up in his crimson eyes.

Perhaps because of their vivid red color, his tears looked like molten lava, as if they might sizzle and burn when they fell.

As she watched Alan cry, Irina let out a heavy sigh.

“Why do you keep trying to use drugs? If this continues, I can’t let you stay.”

Divine power could heal everything, but it couldn’t mend the mind—she was reminded of this every time she looked at Alan.

His nightmares, his behavior, all pointed to the same issue.

“Getting you clean once or twice with divine power is one thing, but… I can’t help you anymore.”

“Irina…”

“If you continue down this path, I can’t keep you around. The risk is too great.”

There was no guarantee that Alan, once addicted again, wouldn’t act impulsively, nor that such actions wouldn’t draw the attention of the temple.

“Irina, I’m sorry. I swear it won’t happen again.”

With a desperate look, he clutched her hand, pleading for one last chance.

“Please, just this once…”

Watching Alan’s face, filled with the desire not to be cast out, made Irina’s head throb.

Sigh. What should I do?

Should I trust him one more time or not?

“Irina, please.”

And yet, she couldn’t understand why he was so determined to stay by her side.

When they first met, he had been desperate to escape, dragging his broken body away from her as if she were chasing him.

She still vividly remembered how he had raged, asking if she had sent someone after him, accusing her of everything.

The Alan she had once thought impossible to tame had gradually become tamed through her care, which she found endearing enough to keep him close…

“There won’t be a second chance, Alan.”

“…”

“This is the last time I’m letting this slide.”

Normally, she might have ignored it, but with Barak and April involved, she couldn’t turn a blind eye any longer.

“If you ever try to use drugs again, you’d better leave.”

She tossed the rolled herb into the nearby trash bin.

“I don’t want to take on the risk that you bring.”

It was a shame to lose Alan’s skills in medicine-making, but now that she was returning to the Duke’s house as their daughter, she couldn’t continue relying on that to make money.

Alan, visibly tense, nodded vigorously, clearly moved by this final chance.

“I promise it won’t happen again. Thank you… for trusting me…”

Why was he so desperate to stay here?

He hadn’t made much money, but it should have been enough to settle in a small village near the capital.

“Fine. So, how is April?”

“She’s improving greatly. She continues to practice walking with the cane. Other than her constantly pestering me about when you’ll visit her…”

So there’s nothing seriously wrong.

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